I believe I am here in this world to be the best I can be and do the best I can do. So that’s why personal growth is what underlines everything in my life and I am one of those who likes to go for courses or do online classes (I successfully passed my third Master Degree two years ago) and who eagerly devour countless self-help books and articles online.

And I am not the only one in this case. When I look at the pile of self-help books in any bookstores, I realize how many theories, practices, habits, are available today. On Amazon, there are 296 465 books and 20 001 eBooks referenced under the “Self-help” section today. They show us how to have a better life, to eat better, to sleep better, to exercise better, to be more creative, happy, confident, serene and so on. With so much information (and sometimes contradictory ones) and choices, I often feel overwhelmed.

But that was before learning and practicing mindfulness.

Now my approach is a bit different and I feel more serene and clear about that. I still read a lot of self-help books and go for training because I find them eyes-opening, sometimes stretching and they widen the number of possibilities that are offered to me, so I can make an informed choice.

What has changed is that I am more able to match and select only the right ones to my needs and where I am on my journey. Some may be very beneficial and highly valuable but I may not be ready for them yet. And some may not be right for me, so I better not apply them into my life.

In my personal journey, one of the greatest discovery I made thanks to my practice of mindfulness (and what I have found for me that works best), is to develop my awareness so I can make a wiser decision. Mindfulness is about being aware of what is happening inside you and around you in the present moment with some specific attitudes. So my mindfulness practice has helped me to develop my self-awareness and to know myself better: my needs, my beliefs and limiting beliefs, my bully and sabotaging inner voice, my thoughts, my emotions, my mind traps and biases, my perceptions, my desires and so on. I am now more able to choose the right tools and practices that best fit me in the present moment. And I deeply believe now that it is totally pointless to read all these self-help articles on Internet or books and copy the routines of very successful people, if you don’t really know yourself well enough to select and invest in the right advices for yourself.

Let me explain that with a personal example. When it comes to physical activities, some people recommend you to run whereas for others it is better not to run but better to walk, some advise us to practice cardio-type exercises, some researchers say it depends on your blood type or others tell on your energy profile… I don’t know for you, but for me, I just end up not knowing who to follow, what to do, too overwhelmed, and maybe stuck by those plethora of information.

I have learnt quite a lot about physical activities and sport, getting two Masters Degrees at the Sport Science University in France, practicing about 15 hours of sport there, then teaching physical education for children with special needs, and working in Sport federations to promote the practice of physical activities. And if you ask me: “which physical activities should I practice?” Before, I would have tell you this or this. Now, I will just tell you that I don’t know and I cannot know. It is only you, with your self-awareness and self-knowledge that can discover which ones are best for you.

Today I am so happy to have found the right balance of practice for me between walking every weekdays outside (luckily I live in Malaysia so it’s hot every day), yoga and Zumba once a week. And this is really after getting into mindfulness, that I have been able to really notice which ones were beneficial and which ones were not for me. And I won’t tell anyone to do the same physical activities as me because that may not be the ones that fit them best! And I guess it also depends on your stage of life. Before, I was perfectly fine playing baseball, volleyball in competitions, but now, I deeply feel that these are not what best fits me in this period of my life. Recently, I did a yoga program with 2 yoga teachers. Both were having a different style of yoga. One was more a “fitness-style” of yoga and the other one was more a “mindful way” of practicing yoga (slow movements, use of the breath etc.). And it did not have the same effects on me. After the “fitness-style” of yoga I was completely depleted, so hungry and not efficient at work, whereas for the second one I really felt energized, revitalized and more than ready to work. And at the same time, I know some other people who did the same program and who had a preference for the “fitness-style” of yoga.

That’s it. Everybody will have different needs and the solution to these needs may be different.

 So, I deeply feel that:

• personal growth is an inside-out process and not the opposite.

It is only effective if it is based on self-knowledge and a strong self-awareness (as your referentials). John Maxwell calls it the “Law of Awareness”: “you must know yourself to grow yourself”. I totally agree with that. The first priority in your journey of personal growth should be to develop your self-awareness and self-knowledge. And mindfulness is one of the way to do that. For me, my mindfulness practice has been determinant – and is still- to help me select the right practices and tools for my personal growth.

• personal growth should not be prescriptive but informative

It is great to have a panel of possibilities thanks to researchers, thinkers, and any people who are working on building this knowledge database. I see this database much more like a suggestion, a catalogue on which I can choose the ones I need depending on where I am right now and where I want to be. It will help me to make an informed choice. But then I am the only one, with my self-knowledge and self-awareness, who can transform that informed choice into a wise one.

• personal growth is deeply experiential

Then, I believe in your journey of personal development, the best way to know if a practice is right for you, is actually to try it out and take the time to reflect on what you can notice in yourself (your thoughts, your body sensations and your feelings). After a while, you will have built your own personal growth toolbox with only carefully selected, tested and self-approved tools and practices.

Now it is your turn. I have some questions for you:

• What do you do for your personal growth?
• What guides you in your personal growth?

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